Intellectual Defenestration

Slashdotting Parenthood

Over the weekend, there was this question posed on Slashdot:

Despite dire warnings, we've gone ahead and put computers with Internet access into our adolescent (11, 12, and 15-year-old) childrens' rooms. We've got a nebulous set of rules, which include several like these: Keep the door open when you're on the computer. Don't quickly exit from everything when we walk past. Don't ever lie to us about what you're doing. Unfortunately we've had instances where all of these rules - especially that last one - have been broken, so now we are looking at getting more specific. We'd be very interested in hearing from both sides of the fence: parents with Net-connected progeny, and those who are chafing under their rule. Parents, once you're past making the huge mistake of actually letting the kids have computers in their rooms, what's a reasonable set of guidlines? Non-parents, what are the rules that chap your hide the worst? Do they actually make a difference in your behavior, or do you just sneak past them anyway? Finally, and this is sort of a meta-question from an exasperated dad, does everybody lie about what they're doing on the Internet?"

At last check, there were some 1800 responses to this question ranging from "trust your kids no matter what" to "remove the computers from the room no matter what". It seems everyone has an an opinion on this subject.

First, in a dreary sort of way, this is rather humorous. Can you imagine this guy coming back to his wife and saying "Dear! I have it! hack3r234 and CmdrTaco gave me the solution to our parenting issues! We should do (whatever)!"

At a deeper level, though, this seems to indicate a loss of local community. Does this poor person have no one in real life to ask? Or does he value his online community more than his local community?

The problem is that it is incredibly easy to get a veritable cacophony of opinions from the Internet (hey, you're at a blog right now), but you have no way to validate those opinions at all. Someone may say they tried this with their kids and it worked, but how do you know (A) they're telling the truth and (B) what their standard of "worked" is (the judge only gave them 3 months probation)?

In "the desert of the real", however, if someone tells you something about parenting, you can immediately look at their lives and their kids' lives to see if it does or does not work. Plus, the person you are talking to has more of an opportunity to see your specific situation, rather than merely spouting firmly held dogma on either free will above all else or rule-making above all else.

Once again, the Internet is an incredible tool to augment our information, but it should never supplement real, face-to-face communication.

November 17, 2003 08:25 AM