Insert appropriate Fiddler on the Roof song title here

Courtesy of the one Christian mailing list I'm on, I got this ad in my inbox today:

eHarmony has found the KEY to Christian marriage - It's matching you on 29 dimensions of compatibility that have been scientifically proven to create deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Founded by Focus on the Family author Dr. Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony knows how important your faith is to you, and we know how hard it is to find someone who shares your values. eHarmony was designed to make sure that your matches share your commitment to Christ.

(Emphasis in original)

From poking around on the eHarmony site, it looks as if they have an admirable ultimate goal: help couples, Christian and non, achieve lasting, healthy, and harmonious marriages. Who wouldn't want that?

(here it comes) However, I'm not happy about this for several reasons:

  1. As a general rule of life, anyone who says "I've found the KEY to X" is selling you something
  2. I find it difficult to believe that, given all of human history, the KEY to marriage has just now been found
  3. No matter how psychologically compatible two people are, face it: marriage is tough
  4. This seems to take away from the necessary community background of marriage, both in helping people become married and in helping those same people maintain marriage. Psychological tests can be quite helpful and insightful, but they should only be supplemental to friends and family who know you well enough to kick your butt when it needs kicking.
  5. Any mention of "the KEY to Christian marriage" without at all referencing what the foundational documents of Christianity say about marriage seems fatuous

I'll probably think of more later. For now, this will have to do.

November 26, 2003 10:35 AM
2 Comments

I am positive I heard a radio ad for them this week, and there was no mention of them being a specifically Christian dating service. There site seems equally ambiguios. I wonder if they are really Christian, and disguising it on the site, or marketing it as Christian to attract people.

Pondered by Greg at November 26, 2003 12:13 PM

I don't think they are a specifically Christian dating service. I think the situation is that the leadership is Christian and so they'll target specifically Christian audiences in some cases, but they want to work with anyone and will match people up based on similar theological views: atheist to atheist, Christian to Christian, etc.

Pondered by maphet at November 26, 2003 01:22 PM