White Complicity

The other day I met an elderly lady who lives in our neighborhood. We did the usual smalltalk and then begin discussing a house between the two of us that is in the process of changing hands. She mentioned that she had apparently met the new owner and that he was very happy to be moving into a house out of his current townhouse. It seems he had been having difficulties with previous neighbors. But, it all worked out well because, as this little white-haired lady said jovially, "he got them [the old neighbors] back; he sold the house to a bunch of blacks!"

So, apparently, my widow neighbor believes that (a) blacks are inherently bad neighbors and (b) using blacks to settle grudges is an acceptable means of retaliation. Assuming that she represented the man in question correctly, my new neighbor harbors these same enlightened beliefs. That's just wonderful.

Since then, I've managed to come up with decent rebuttals that would have hopefully still been respectable. I could have said something like, "you know, I've had plenty of African-American neighbors and I've enjoyed them just as much, if not more, than many white neighbors." Or even, "I wonder what the new owners of the townhouse would think of that?"

Sadly, I didn't. At the time my mind just blanked. The statement was so random and unexpected, I wasn't even sure I heard it correctly. Surprise preempted any potentially eloquent moral extemporaneity.

What was the "right thing"? On the one hand, the odds of me changing this person's racial beliefs in one pithy statement were about as good as those of Michael Moore voting for GW Bush this fall. On the other hand, there's that evil-winning/good-men-doing-nothing thing.

I suppose there's broader lessons that could be drawn from this on the moral crisis in white middle-class, or the ongoing struggles of racism, or the many things to be done to overcome segregation, or the Church's need to stop seeing suburbia as a safe haven. Mostly, though, I'm still trying to figure out what "being a good neighbor" means.

August 9, 2004 05:37 PM
4 Comments

Maphet, I wish that you were my neighbor.

Pondered by crabby at August 9, 2004 05:45 PM

Yes, it is unfortunate that people feel that way. Housing descrimination is the last bastion of hardcore racism that people somehow try to justify as acceptable. I know many people who consider themselves enlightened and not racist who have no problem expressing terror at the idea of african americans moving into thier neighborhoods. I've even known people who have gone up to their neighbors who had their homes on the market and tried to make sure they wouldn't sell to black people. It's awful.

Unfortunatly, there is no way to enlighten a woman such as your neighbor that is so set in her ways at her age that there is something wrong with the way she is thinking. I think an audible shocked silence was probably the most effective response.

Pondered by eebmore at August 9, 2004 08:51 PM

Sad. Actually, It's been my experience that little white-haired ladies are bad neighbors. Terrible, in fact. All that I've known have had extreme difficulty in controlling their wagging tongues.

Pondered by hugo at August 10, 2004 03:06 PM

I'm not sure what you mean by "the Church's need to stop seeing suburbia as a safe haven". I'm fond of saying that if churches made a city nice to live in, Baltimore would be the nicest city around. We got churches up the wazoo in my neighborhood. In the same neighborhood, you can see folks shooting up in broad daylight, like it was nothing more unusual than having a cigarette.

See my recent comment on DaBrettman's blog. Co-incidentally I was discussing a similar topic. Comments like that lady said are so common as to pass almost unnoticed. I wouldn't have been surprised at all by comments like that, they're completely normal. I just don't think you really knew what to say to the old lady. What can you say?

I live in the city. I got a glorious, huge house for peanuts. Why was it so cheap? One word: blacks. Yes, there are actual blacks around here. Thank the Lord for blacks!

Pondered by Mad Raunter at August 11, 2004 11:21 PM